Another genius moment

Today as I walked out the door with Connor and Laurel to take them to school, I noticed that Tim's cell phone was in my car. As I looked at it, I thought, I know he is gonna miss that. He uses it a lot during work. As I was dropping Connor off at school, Tim's cell started to ring.
Me: Hello?
Tim: who is this?
me: your wife, Alice
Tim: hey, I think I left my cell phone at home.
me: you think?
Tim: can you bring it to me......
Anyhow, I couldn't stop laughing. It was a definite"here's your sign" moment.

The movies were right....well this time

Okay, so I learned that not everything that we see on TV is exaggerated. My boys are really into Bakugan and have been trying to do extra chores around the house to "earn" one. It is routine for them to unload the dishwasher, but to do something extra, Connor asked to load it. I was more than happy with that and they should be doing it anyhow.....anyway.....Connor loaded up the dishwasher and then looked for the detergent to put into it. Not seeing it, he got creative and squeezed liquid dish soap into the detergent holder. He then made sure all the right buttons were pushed and then started the cycle. I had no clue of any of this until about 20 minutes into the cycle, I went into the kitchen for a snack. ARGH!!!!!!!! There were bubbles everywhere!!!!! My dishwasher looked like it had rabies or maybe even mad cow disease. Bubbles were oozing out everywhere and they were diligently trying to take over most of my kitchen. Ha. I stopped the cycle, drained it, wiped out the remaining liquid and then started it again with no detergent. Disaster was averted. I had a good laugh after freaking out about it. Wish that I had taken a picture though. BTW, the pix above is not from this incident, but another fun time we had.

Thanks

I just wanted to write a quick note to say thanks for all the support from friends and family. It helps. I was just so down and angry when I wrote that last post. I know that I haven't gotten a chance to call some of you back and I will....I have just been so busy. A quick update.....the aide that said that the kids in the FASP program couldn't go to High School until they were 15 was wrong. Why someone in that position doesn't know what she is talking about is beyond me. You would think they would be better informed because she really freaked me out. She had also told me that they had NO Sp.Ed programs at the high school and that was wrong too(although I already knew that). Some of you asked if what they were doing is legal. Yes, it is. This is why: Resource classes work at a lower grade level(about 5th grade) and sometimes work slower, but Connor has regressed and is working at an even lower grade level(about 3rd grade) than a Resource class is set up to do. They have been modifying the work to meet Connor's needs, but to "show" me he doesn't belong there, they will take away those "further" modifications. Their intent is to point out that he needs to be in a more restrictive enviroment. I don't agree....I just think he needs an extra push and guidence and they don't have the "time or staff and no money in their budget to find someone" to do so. I am still deciding what to do, but I feel much calmer now and am looking at ALL my options. Right now, I am looking into the option of home schooling. It would be a BIG undertaking, but I can do just as good a job, if not better, than this system that I am stuck with. I know some of you won't approve of that,but I am not looking into it lightly. Anyhow, there's the latest. Thanks again for the support, advice and prayers.

Why Me?

Okay, first you need to know that I hate the question that I used as my title. It is nothing but unproductive. But I am having a moment where I am asking myself, "why me?". The mantle of my responsibilties to my children is weighing heavy on my shoulders at the moment. I am so drained and need to find my inspiration to move through it and I am sure in another day or so I will be over this pity party. So, what am I talking about, you may ask.....I am going through it with the school that Connor goes to, Audie Murphy Middle School. I feel like I do this same song and dance every couple of years. Last year, I went through it so I came here with the confidence that I had my ducks in a row and everything would be smooth sailing....at least until he got into High School. He is in a Resource program. That is when a child who has learning issues goes to a series of classes that learn things at a lower lever than his mainstream peers. It can mean that the work is at a lower grade level or learned at a slower pace. The school he is in is telling me that he is struggling so badly that he can't be productive in this learning enviroment. I find it interesting that he was able to do it in MO, but not here in TX. It could be a product of a few things though......moving and the change that brings, he is no longer on his meds, he's being lazy....I don't know. But in the meantime, he isn't doing so hot here. They want me to put him in a FASP or SKILLS program....they are the same thing just 2 different ways to say it. That is a contained classroom in which you do all of your work at whatever grade level that you are able to learn at and maybe you get to leave for elective classes if you are able and up for it.It is the most restrictive learning enviroment in the public school system. I went to the class at the school they want him to move to and observed it to see what it was all about. What I found was a class of children that were much more severely handicapped then my child and if they weren't, then they were being WAY underestimated. I don't want to sound snotty in any way, but it isn't where my child should be. He does have his issues, but he is capable of more that what was going on in that classroom. This is what I walked into:
On one side of the class was a table with 4 students sitting at it. They were the group who were the most impaired. Even though it was reading time, they were being taught life skills....it happened to be a lesson about a place setting. An aide was giving them a plate, fork, knife, spoon and cup and asking the kids to touch the item she would name. In another corner was a group of kids that were having the teacher read them the story of Little Bear, a children's book with pictures. And asking them basic questions like who is in the story and things like that. Then there was a group of 2 students reading a piece of paper with a story paragraph at about a 2nd grade level to an aide. When they were all done with the reading hour, the students got to do a round of singing "head, shoulders, knees, and toes". Through the whole thing there was one more student that sat at a table in her wheelchair with her sippie cup doing nothing, but looking off into space. It was a sad commentary to see this girl and all I could think of was what a sad waster of time...she wasn't learning diddly and she needed way more than this setting could ever give her.
As I left, I just felt insulted that this is where they wanted to put Connor. I will concede that he may be struggling, but I really felt like this isn't the answer. It felt too much like giving up. He would never meet his potential or be pushed to progress in this enviroment. If anything, I think he would regress and be distracted by all the movement and noises that the children around him would make. So I went to the school meeting that I had hoping that there was another choice....a way to find a happy medium. In the meeting, I was basically told in so many words that his current school was not an option and that if I insisted that they leave him there, that they would take away all of his modifications that help him learn and "let the proof be in the pudding....he will either sink or swim and we think he will sink". Then they would have the right, according to them, to force my hand and put him where ever they want....meaning this FASP program. They also tell me that I have one more option....I can go look at the same program at one more school....because "every classroom has a different personality and you may like the one in that class better". So I go to look at another school, same program. The next school had 2 classes. One room had the severly impaired children in it and the other seemed a little more Connor's speed. It was close to being what I was looking for if I have to do this. Some of the children would leave to go to Resource classes and electives. Then, I talked to the aide in there and she informs me that any child that is put into this program isn't allowed to go to High School until they are 15....no exceptions. WHAT??!! If that is true then Connor would end up doing the 8th grade at least one more time, probably 2 since his birthdate is June 26, 1995. So, I am back to the mind frame of this choice really sucks....what am I going to do? I went home and cried due to my frustration and anger at the whole situation. I am doing a lot of questioning, soul searching, and praying. I began to wonder, "why me?" Why was I chosen to have this child when I can't seem to find the path that will make him successful. It is one of those times that I wish that I had money. Sadly, if I had that, then a lot of this would be moot. I could afford to do so much more for him. But we live on a military salary.....So, no crying over spilt milk. Today I am really drained from the whole ordeal. I know that I need to talk to some more people and that,with some faith, I will be guided to the right choice and situation for Connor.......but I am so tired of it being such a battle all the time.
Okay.....enough of my complaining and venting. I know that in the long run,I am blessed. So I will end it with that.

Halloween Funny

I had a good time walking around with Laurel last night trick or treating. It was just her and I. At one house, they has really decorated and the whole family was out front waiting to give out candy. As we got closer, she saw that there was a witch(mom) and a vampire(dad) standing there.
"Look, mom! There's a witch and her husband, Spatula!"
It took me a minute to realize she was talking about Dracula. Ha. What an unscary name for a vampire.
She also asked me if I was dressed up. I was wearing my superman t-shirt last night. I told her that I was super mom. She looked at me and said:
"yeah, right! You must be dreaming."
I know that she wasn't putting my mothering skills down.....just telling me that I couldn't fly or be as fast as a speeding bullet. It still came out funny though.

Trunk or Treat

We went to a trunk or treat tonight and the kids posed in the back yard for me before leaving. I don't know if I will get another chance at doing the picture thing tomorrow so here they are......the Metcalf Kids for Halloween 2008:

Tid Bits

I feel like I am on a merry go round that keeps picking up speed. I have been so busy but when I come here to blog and share it all, I have a hard time remembering what has been going on. Ha.
I have been starting to go to the gym regularly. Tim has been doing some type of pre-training for Iraq so he has been going in late every morning. So he and I have been going to the gym together. I told him before going that he had to be nice to me. He enjoys making his soldiers work so hard at PT that they puke. He loves watching Biggest Loser because he likes how mean and tough Jillian is. He has been very nice to me…..no Jillian like behavior. He told me he just can’t be that way with me since I am his wife. Very sweet.
The kids are all jazzed up for Halloween. Connor plans of being the Punisher…..he wants me to go out and buy him more guns though. Gavin got a hoodie and gloves that are a skeleton costume. After talking to his friend, he doesn’t think it is cool enough and wants another costume or some type of wicked weapon to wield (say that 10 times fast). And Laurel was going to be a purple bat, but when we went to the store and saw all of the sparkly princess dresses, she was hooked. She is going to be Snow White. She insisted that she needed red lipstick for the costume so after some thought I gave in. I mean, what fun is Halloween if you can’t use a little makeup as a little girl. We are going to be going to a Trunk or Treat for my friends ward tonight so hopefully I will has pictures to post of them soon. Connor is bummed out cause I won’t let him go out to trick or treat this year. Am I being too mean? But he can do the trunk or treat so I am sure he will get over it.
I swear that Laurel lives in a musical. It makes me laugh cause Tim hates it when I make him watch them…..he says that it isn’t realistic that people will break into song for no reason. Now his own daughter is doing it all the time. What a hoot. She sings even where there isn’t anyone around for an audience. And they are necessarily songs that are known. She makes them up as she goes a long….sings about her day or what she is doing or what she wants to do….whatever strikes her current mood. I wish that I had a way to capture some of it on tape.
I had an IEP meeting about a week ago for Connor. He is struggling pretty bad at his new school. I think it is due to it being a different environment and trying to readapt to a new place….there is always a time of adjustment. I also think that they aren’t giving him all the services that he may need. And I took him off his meds before we moved here. The school wants to move him to another school entirely and put him into a program that would keep him in the same classroom except when he has to go to his 2 elective classes. I am not happy about that choice. Part of me, thinks that it is a good idea. Who wants their child to struggle? I find myself second guessing sometimes about how I may have an unrealistic expectation for what Connor should be able to do, but then I talk to him and realize that I am not too far off of what he can do. My big fear is that I put him in this program and then he is forever stuck and won’t be allowed to progress out of it ever again. I want him to reach higher, not remain in a comfort zone. I have come to the conclusion that part of his struggles are also from his laziness (for lack of a better word). He has been able to get away with people carrying him through for so long that he expects it now. He knows that if he says he can’t enough some adult at school will step in and “save” him. I feel like my time is running out…..he only has 5 more years of school (although I know that technically, he can stay in longer. I am hoping that he doesn’t need to.). Anyhow, I decided to put him back on his meds and ask for an aide in the classes that he struggles in the most. I want them to really exhaust their efforts before I put him into this other program. It would just feel too much like taking 2 steps back and then freezing in place. I know that they are going to be difficult when I go back with this plan….they already act like it is all said and done and he will be going to the program that they want because they don’t want to put forth the effort. I try hard not to be frustrated and to believe that Heavenly Father has a plan for Connor and me to make this work. But there are times…..in the darkest parts of the night……that I feel like a failure.
Gavin is still Bakugan crazy. He mopes a lot because he wishes that he made money to buy them all the time. If there are any good suggestions on how to do that out there, I am all ears. After hearing him grumble about how I NEVER buy him anything, I sat him down and gave him and economics lesson. I showed him how much we make and where all it goes. It was an eye opener for him, I think. He didn’t realize how much it costs to “live life”. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop the grumbling. He has become a wheeler dealer though. He took the Bakugan that he already owns and has sold them for some major profit to be able to buy more. I am impressed that he can find kids with the disposable income to do it and then gets them to do it. I was never that resourceful as a kid.
Lastly, my niece, Elisa, is getting married in February. She asked me if I would be her photographer. I was blown away. I was so flattered and honored that she would entrust that task to me. I am shaking a little in my boots about the prospect. It isn’t something that you can “do over” if it somehow gets messed up. But I think that I am up for the challenge. It made my mom cry to hear about it. My dad has been the one who has taken so many wedding pictures for family. But he has gotten to the point in his Alzheimer’s that he isn’t capable or interested in doing what used to be a passion of his. So, in essence, I am carrying on that torch. I hope I can fill his foot steps adequately.
Well, I need to be getting back to housework. So not into doing that lately, but it is the never ending task……